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The funeral yesterday at noon.
I'd like to thank everybody who called or texted, you have no idea how much it means to have friends who care. People always think its cliche to send their condolences, but having gone through it, it really does help.
There were tears, mostly other peoples. I don't cry when people are around, i cried my tears as i was alone with the casket, that is enough.
We went to dinner afterwards, to celebrate his life, to celebrate my cousin's birthday, to celebrate the fact that we have family, that we are family. I haven't seen everybody in one place in so long, we toasted to my uncle for giving us that one last parting gift.
As people are leaving today, some tears are shed, but they are tears of thankfulness, tears of joy, tears of family, and, yes, some tears of sadness and sorrow. I'm glad I came back, I needed to.
I fly out tomorrow, back to nashville, away from my family, but maybe the Hokie alumni association can be that for me out there.Current Mood:  content |
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Just once, I'd like to get credit for something i've done.
I blend in really well with the background.
People who know my views as an organizer know that I make myself invisible to the event participants.
Thats my job.
I used to work back stage.
Just once I'd like to be recognized for things.
I teach dance, a thanks from a student would go a long way.
The worst is when somebody else gets credit for my work.
I don't care if most people think that somebody else did it, thats fine.
The people who matter, I want them to know i did the work.
I feel that I'm always invisible.
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oh, and I bought the peeps... |
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I know that it seems like all I do on this blog is emote...and thats kind of true.
Reading this you would think I'm a sad sad person...constantly love struck jilted pathetic geek of a fool.
In some ways you might be right...but I'm really not all that sad...
My life is going well, I would just prefer to be in Atlanta right now.
Its both a job thing and a personal relationship thing.
I'm not really sure which is greater cause for discontent,
the fact that I'm here
or the fact that I'm not there.
That may not make much sense to you so let me break it down.
the first is that I'm here, i could be anywhere else but here.
the second is that i'm not in atlanta, I could be other places and just as discontent.
As I said, in truth, I'm doing rather well.
Stable job, at least till my contract runs out
Stable income, relatively decent for here (piss poor for DC)
I have friends here who I can talk to,
Friends that I can call almost any time.
I have my health, I have food, I have many many good things in my life.
Its always the things that we don't have, or the people we don't have, that we miss/want
I should be content with what I have...
or at least happy with what i have...
and strive for more
but let that more be something that is a bonus and not the sole reason for my happiness.
i am happy...kind of...i'll keep telling myself that...Current Mood: hopeful |
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What makes one potential relationship different from others?
what is it about a person that, when you meet them, instead of going for a fling, you want to make something that lasts?
What makes a person change from being the type to just throw everything to the wind and hope a relationship takes flight to somebody who isn't willing to risk the distance?
what makes a person feel like they are special?
what makes a person feel like they're being ignored?
What lets that person know they're not?
What makes something romantic?
What is enough?
What do we have?
What can we make it into?
What do you feel?
What do you want?
Are you willing to take the risk of answering these questions?
What will you find out about yourself?
What will you find out about us?Current Mood:  discontent Current Music: wait for me...flaw |
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sometimes I feel rather callous when I see how deeply loving some people are of their fathers. My father moved out so long ago, he hasn't been a part of my life for almost 20 years. He's been around, in and out, on and off, but he has been my father, not my Dad.
I don't know if that makes any sense to people who have good nuclear families, but their is a difference that i both feel and see quite clearly. He is my father, there is no denying that, there is nothing that can change that. He's not much of a dad though, he doesn't do the things that a dad does. |
| » greatful |
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sometimes i do look back at things that could have been, i look at the way things were and i know how good things were. I don't regret what happened, i regret how it happened.
the more i look back on things,
the more i find out about what is goign on now,
the more i realize that i made the right choice.
petty jabs
puerile remarks
assuming its all about her
she probably thinks she is the reason i don't go dancing
she probably thinks i avoid her after dances
she can think what she wants
whatever makes her happy
whatever helps her sleep at night.
Oct. 4th, 2005 @ 09:43 am
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| » Super Dome |
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I know it shouldn't be funny but i does anybody else find it mildly amusing that people are being moved from the Superdome to the Astrodome?
Sep. 1st, 2005 @ 07:03 am
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| » Dvorak |
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learning to type using a dvorak keyboard is pretty difficult. i haven't quite gotten the hang of it, but it'll just take some time.
Aug. 9th, 2005 @ 03:10 am
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| » electric bills |
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i wonder if the electric bill for blind people is any lower than non blind people.
no lights...no TV...might be cheaper...
Jul. 14th, 2005 @ 08:59 pm
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| » pick a tempo |
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DJing last night was interesting
i generally keep tempos somewhere around 150-200
normally i hear requests for faster music.
last night, apparently the music was too fast.
go figure, i got more people out dancing with 110 than i did with 160. oh well, whatever they want. as long as the people keep coming and giving us money, its all good.
Jul. 12th, 2005 @ 08:51 am
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| » fly paper |
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is it bad that i want to breed fruit flies just to see them get stuck on fly paper?
Jul. 6th, 2005 @ 12:37 pm
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| » scientology!! |
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check it out...i want to become a loyal follower of Xenu..or is it Xemu...it doesn't matter because he's a leader of a galactic federation consisting of 76 planets. He's got mad cool powers...i wonder how he would fair against Cthulhu....hmm..this bears research..
Jul. 6th, 2005 @ 09:00 am
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| » new age music.... |
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new age music...it seems like its here to stay...
we're going to have to kill it...
Jul. 6th, 2005 @ 08:48 am
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| » what tree are you? |
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You Are A Hazelnut Tree |
You're a charmer with a killer sense of humor.
You are very demanding, but you can also be very understanding.
No matter what, you always make a lasting impression - you're quite popular.
Passionate, you are an active fighter for social causes and politics.
In general, you are moody, honest, a perfectionist, and very sexual. |
how fitting...i'm a nut tree
Jul. 6th, 2005 @ 08:47 am
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| » Good mornin, good mornin |
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I need to buy Singin in the Rain at some point. Its playing on TV right now and i keep forgetting how much I love this movie. That and Debbie Reynolds is just gorgeous in it.
Jul. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:15 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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apparently i'm not allowed to make personal comments on my own page without being rebuked for them by the people reading it. This is my page, you can read it all you want, if you take things personally, thats your problem. Don't come crying to me about it.
If i delete a comment,
maybe its because i'm offended by it.
maybe its because i feel others will be offended by it
maybe its because i'm tired and hit a wrong button
its my page
deal
this page is for me
you can all follow my trials and tribulations if you so desire
but it is my life, my page
if you're offended, don't read it
May. 30th, 2005 @ 09:20 am
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| » life is not... |
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life is not all about you
everybody has issues
people can't be there for you all the time
sometimes you just have to deal
you want to be happy
so do we all
for the most part
we each have our own problems
life is not all about you
May. 30th, 2005 @ 02:41 am
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| » Lian Chan visits China |
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Behind all of this is Beijing's 'united front' strategy, which aims at cozying up to the opposition parties, dividing Taiwan and forcing the government to accept 'one China' and the alleged consensus... However, as long as Taiwan's political parties cannot agree on the basic principles of national sovereignty and policy toward China, then these two trips may turn out to be not a glorious beginning to better times, but the first step towards disaster.
Editorial in Taiwan's Taipei Times
Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 11:30 am
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| » you won't understand |
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You don't know where i've been.
You've never been there.
i hope you get there someday.
perhaps then you'll understand.
Apr. 24th, 2005 @ 11:40 pm
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| » Pope Benedict XVI |
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So the new says he wants to unify all Christians.
I can't disagree with that goal, i think that would be fabulous. I think he needs to forget about that for now though, he should focus on unifying all Catholics first. Benedict is definately not going to have much luck with that, especially since he's considered to be one of the more anal retentive conservative choices the conclave could have made. I don't say this to be insulting, it just happens to be a fact which almost every news organization has said in a more elequent manner.
Should be interesting to see how long he lasts.
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 08:00 am
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